You were never in search of “awakening.” Only the mind seeks. Only the ego is desperate for change.
Let it seek. That is what it does. Let it be “unawakened.” Let it be “found,” and let it “lose” itself again. And again. And again.
You will always be You. Never lost or found. Never broken or healed. Never unawakened or awakened. Only Present. Only Awake.