I was fucking miserable. The world was fucked and I couldn’t reconcile myself to it enough to go out and “succeed.”
And I blamed myself for it. Why do you have to be so fucking sensitive, Akira? I had to achieve some sort of resolution, so I could finally “thrive” in the world.
I began to starve myself to death. I didn’t eat for four days. And then a miracle occurred.
I awakened! Oh boy, did I awaken! I fell beneath the world. Everything became so clear and divine. Life became a dance of atoms, and I became the untouchable Presence beneath it.
Now nothing would stand in my way! I would prosper as an “enlightened” one. Like Eckhart Tolle or the Dalai Lama. I would finally realize all of my gluttonous dreams!
But Akira didn’t change. He is still a sensitive being at odds with the world. He hasn’t “prospered.” He hasn’t “made it.” His life is an ambivalent journey.
But I am free. Deep beneath his blight. Gracing his struggle with Light.